Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sex appeal!

This is something I don't have. I wish I did, but I'm a total and complete dork. I'm naturally flirty, but when I actually try to flirt because I find a guy I like I fail miserably.

I'm not exactly sure what makes a person sexy, but I'm pretty sure hoodies and tube socks are not it. And since they're not, whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I don't have it.
I've drawn a comic to illustrate this.

Here's the situation:

I ordered something online (probably something lame like toys or a t-shirt) and the mailman is HOT!

Here is how a sexy woman would handle seducing him:

Or at least that is how I assume it would go. As previously stated I am not sexy and wouldn't know. This is more of a guess on how it would go based on movies, and things I've heard about porn.

Anyway, she gets the guy through her bold use of boobies and see-through clothing.  You go girl!

Here is how I would handle this:

Yeah... didn't work out as well.

I'm not even saying this because I have low self esteem! I have proof!

Case 1: Nearly all of the men I've dated have been creeps or jerks. The only good relationship I've ever been in is the one I'm in now!

Case 2: I only seem to attract creeps and jerks. I'm being dead serious on this one. I get hit on all the time by old smelly drunks. I've even had a couple stalkers. None of those people were ones I was attracted to.
 In fact, I've never been hit on by I guy I've been attracted to.

Case 3: The men I'm attracted to never like me back! I love sweet guys who are fun to be around. A stark contrast to the men I mentioned in case 2.

Lucky for me I have an amazing boyfriend, because left to my own devices I would probably end up picking a the least losery loser I'm so prone to attract.

Oh! Just a disclaimer to my friends who I've made things for:

I'm not trying to seduce you! Unless I show up to your house in briefs and tube socks, I'm just trying to be friendly.

After all, I'm a die-hard crafter!


My boyfriend theorizes that my lack of sex appeal to the type of sweet little guys I like may be due in part to the fact that I'm funny.

I thought a sense of humor was important!

Apparently the guy likes to be the funny one, and does not appreciate the girl stealing their spotlight.
The fact that I do lumps me in as 'one of the guys'.

Could this really be true?
I was a very insecure child, and did not think highly of myself so I learned to be funny... And now you're telling me my strength is a weakness?

This sucks!

Do any of you have any theories of merit? Any opinions on the subject of what makes a person sexy?

Let me know in the comments!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Is That a Header on Your Blog...

... Or are you just happy to see me?

Check out my awesome new header. I made it myself!
However it should go without saying that I made it myself. After all. this is a blog about MY stupid cartoons.

Speaking of my stupid cartoons, I've been sick today! That means I've had lots of time to draw! I guess that's the positive side of severe stomach cramps and throwing up all day.

...Not to worry though, the comic I've been working on is not about throwing up. It's about sex appeal!
That's like the opposite of throwing up!

Actually, the opposite of throwing up is eating. But I'm speaking in terms of how fun it would be to have sex appeal as opposed to how awful it feels to throw up.

Makes sense right? Opposite ends of the spectrum. Yep.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A New Drink for Febuary!

I felt like I should update, but I honestly haven't prepared anything.

I am working on a comic though. It should be pretty sweet, but it won't be done until after Valentines day.
I'm super busy making sweets for all my friends! I hope they like them!

Today's drink is more of a suggestion than an actual recipe.

A Valentines Punch (I feel bad for the poor slob who gets served some of this stuff)


Get a sparkling wine (any will do. You can also substitute ginger ale or sprite).

Jeez I'm using a lot of parenthesis in this post.


Get some grapefruit, pineapple, or any other light colored juice you can think of....You know what? this might not work. I was attempting to make something pink... But I think this will end up orange.


Get some pink lemonade, the white citrus Mountain Dew,  and some maraschino (thanks for the spelling help google!) cherries


Mix that crap together to taste, and garnish with the cherry.

Let me know if it's any good. I just made that whole thing up off the top of my head.